Of all the crazy adventures I’ve ever attempted, blending families has no doubt been the most challenging. Voluntarily surrounding oneself with the chaos of four little people with strong opinions and feelings. Trying to be parents to some and friends to others while remaining fair to all. Worrying about maintaining their sense of security, knowing all the while that change is inevitable.
Eventually, you learn to trust that your partner, though they may never love your kids quite the same way you will, is acting in their best interests regardless. You stop thinking about “yours” and “mine” and start to embrace “ours”. Because, for all of the tumultuousness, noise, negotiations, squabbles, and the ever-present mess, there is also a sense of fullness to this wild life that is diminished when any of its pieces are absent.
Fortunately, the kids are more perceptive about such things than we are, and while we worried at the significance of each of our actions, they formed a pack of their own, ran, explored, shared secrets, or sometimes just plunked down on the couch and laughed with each other over online games. Even when physically apart, they stayed in contact with each other of their own free will. So it wasn’t really much of a surprise when we started doing things as a family. They were already all in.
It was so windy that day that we were beached, the waves on the lake too big to venture out.
While it is a fundamental part of my nature to always need a little solitude to recharge, the wild joy that this crazy brood brings to our lives is undeniable. Watching them take this world by storm is a privilege I can only look forward to. I just hope the world is ready.
